“Bullets was flyin’ like snowflakes,” he said; “an’ lots o’ our chaps was hit.”
“Weel, Tommy,” interrupted one of his listeners, “couldn’t ye hear t’ bullets whizzin’ an’ makin’ a noise as they was comin’ along, an’ so be able to get out o’ their way?”
Tommy gave the inquirer a withering look, then replied:
“Nay, lad, we couldn’t hear ’em comin’, becos them bullets was Dum-Dum ’uns; an’ did anybody ever hear of aught that was dumb makin’ a noise?”
AN AGREEABLE MISTAKE
The soldier of four months was recounting his experience of “living on the country” in an Eastern county. He and a comrade had been dispatched with a motor-car to perform a certain mission. After traveling a considerable distance they sighted an inn sign, and, running the car into the yard at the rear, alighted and entered by a back door. A picturesque dame appeared, to whom the bluff and hearty spokesman said:
“Now, mother, is there anything to eat?”
“Well, you can have some nice cold beef, and if you like to wait half an hour I’ll cook you some potatoes and a cauliflower.”
“Ah! Worth waiting for, that is, mother! Right-o!” said the soldier.