IGNORED HIMSELF
During camp parade of the buglers the other day an Irish corporal was in charge. He was asked by the C. O. if all the buglers were present, when he replied:
“No, sorr; one man absent.”
“Well, then,” said the C. O.; “go and find him, and ask what he has to say for himself.”
A few minutes later Pat came running back, and shouted:
“Shure, sorr, and weren’t we a pair of duffers not to know it? It wor meself. Bedad, sorr, Oi forgot to call me own name, entoirely, sorr!”
ANOTHER ANXIETY
“I have some astonishing news for you, Maria,” said Brown. “In addition to the war, England is on the eve of a great strike, in which thousands upon thousands of hands will be involved.”
“What a dreadful thing!” ejaculated his unsuspecting victim. “When is it to take place?”
“This very night, my dear,” answered Brown, gravely. “At midnight thousands of clock hands will point to the hour, and it will strike twelve.”