SOME KIND OF A MARSHAL
Wife (proud of her military brother-in-law, to husband)—“Do you know Fred has been recently promoted to field-marshal?”
Husband—“To field-marshal! Impossible, dear.”
Wife (indignantly)—“Well, if it’s not a field-marshal he’s come to, it’s a court-martial.”
NOR ON THE SOCKS
An English colonel, at kit inspection, said to Private Flanigan:
“Ha! Yes, shirts, socks, flannels, all very good. Now, can you assure me that all the articles of your kit have buttons on them?”
“No, sir,” said Private Flanigan, hesitating.
“How’s that, sir?”