UNWILLING MARTYR
Some time ago little Willie rambled into the house, threw his soldier suit in the corner, and began looking over a book. This was unusual for the youngster, and mother began to investigate.
“What did you come into the house for, Willie?” she asked. “You haven’t quarrelled with Georgie Brown, have you?”
“No, mother,” answered Willie; “but I’m not going to play war with him any more.”
“Why not?” queried mother. “What has he been doing?”
“It’s just this way,” explained Willie. “When we play war I’m Germany and he’s England, and if I don’t let him lick me every time he says that I’m not patriotic.”
THE TAR AND THE TARTAR
Pat has always been celebrated the world over for his repartee, and he did not belie his reputation for smart retorts quite recently.
It happened that a warship touched at a military port on the coast of Ireland, and a “Tommy,” meeting a full-bearded Irish “tar” in the street, accosted him with:—
“Here, I say, Pat, when are you goin’ to put those whiskers of yours on the reserve list?”