HOW HE TOOK HIS
English men-of-war have no ice-making machines on board, as do our ships, and everybody knows how the English fail to understand us on the subject of the use of ice, especially in our drinks.
An English officer was aboard one of our ships of the Asiatic fleet, and, on being served with an iced drink, commented on the delights of having cool water aboard. The American officer responded with an offer of a small cake of ice, which was sent the following morning. Meeting the Englishman ashore a week later, the American asked him if he had enjoyed the ice.
“Enjoy it, old top? Why, do you know, that was the first cold bawth I’ve had since I left England!”
WILLING TO OBLIGE
A recruit very anxious to join Kitchener’s Army enters recruiting station determined to accommodate himself to any condition required.
Officer (filling in form)—“What’s your religion?”
Zealous Recruit—“Well, what are you short of?”