ON THE SAFE SIDE
Zealous Sentry—“Afraid I can’t let you go by without the password, sir.”
Irate Officer—“But, confound you! I tell you I have forgotten it. You know me well enough. I’m Major Jones.”
Sentry—“Can’t help it, sir; must have the password.”
Voice from the Guard-Tent—“Oh, don’t stand arguing all night, Bill; shoot ’im.”
COULDN’T BE DONE
The English official had been telling the old Scottish farmer what he must do in the case of a German invasion on the East Coast of Scotland.
“An’ hiv I reely tae dae this wi’ a’ ma beesties gin the Germans come?” asked the old fellow at the finish.
The official informed him that such was the law, “All live stock of every description must be branded and driven inland.”