HER DEDUCTION

Mrs. Brown (to Mrs. Jones, who has been to see a son off in a troop-ship)—“Well, I’m sure they’ll be starting soon, for both funnels are smoking; and, you see, my dear, they couldn’t want both funnels just for lunch.”

NOT A FAVORITE BRAND

Private A—“Wot kind of a cigarette have you got?”

Private B (handing him one)—“Flor de Kitchener.”

Private A (takes a few puffs and throws it away, remarking)—“They would floor better men than Kitchener.”

AN UNWILLING TARGET

The Home Secretary, we understand, can not see his way to allow a distinguished Anglo-American who dwells in our midst with his family to exhibit, with a view to safeguarding his home against Zeppelins, an illuminated sky-sign bearing the words “Gute leute wohnen hier” (“Good people live here”).—Punch.

A COMPROMISE