An Irishman invalided home from the war was asked by one of his relatives what struck him most about the battles he took part in.
“What struck me most?” said Pat. “Sure, it was the large number of bullets flying around that didn’t hit me.”
THE TERRIER
Sergeant—“’Ey, there! Where are you going?”
The Absent-Minded Beggar (who climbed out of the trench)—“’Oly Jiminy! When that bloomin’ shell whistled over ’ead Hi thought it was twelve o’clock!”
MORE THINGS TO KNIT
“My love, I’ve an idea,” said old Mrs. Goodart to her caller. “You know we frequently read of the soldiers making sorties. Now, why not make up a lot of those sorties and send them to the poor fellows at the front?”
A QUALIFIED FIGHTER
Rather unexpected was the reply of a Mrs. Tommy Atkins to a lady who inquired if her husband was at the front.
“Yus,” she said, “an’ I ’ope ’e’ll serve the Germans as ’e served me.”