A platoon of a certain regiment, among whom were a number of men noted as inveterate card-players, was being drilled. The instructor lined them up and gave the command:

“Number off!”

Like fire along the front rank ran the response:

“One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, jack, queen, king, ace!”

NO GARTERS NEEDED

“Anyhow, there’s one advantage in having a wooden leg,” said the happy soldier.

“What’s that?” said his friend.

“You can hold your socks up with tin-tacks.”

WILLING TO SPARE HIM

“Does your wife show any interest in the war?”