“You told us to treat the dinner like the enemy, sir, and when we meet the enemy, sir, those we don’t kill we take prisoners.”
HE KNEW THE ANSWER
One of the best stories of regimental life told by General Sir Archibald Hunter, the commander of England’s third new army, concerns a certain “Tommy” who was more noted for his wit than his scholarship. The man’s grammar and spelling were simply awful, and Sir Archibald was trying to teach him the King’s English.
“I don’t believe you know what w-o-m-a-n spells,” said he to the uneducated soldier on one occasion.
“Trouble as a rule, sir,” replied “Tommy,” with a grin.
Hunter was so amused that he was quite unable to reprimand the man for his “cheek.”
A JOKE IN THE TRENCHES
“Can anny av yer tell me why the Scots are the most humane sojers at the front?” asked the Irish sergeant, as he set light to his pipe.
“We give it up,” came the ready response from the boys just returned from the trenches.