NOT A THIRST IN THE LOT
A soldier, charged with being drunk and disorderly, mentioned, in extenuation of his offense, the fact that he had been compelled to travel up from camp in very bad company.
“What sort of company?” asked the magistrate.
“A lot of teetotallers!” was the startling response.
“Do you mean to say teetotallers are bad company?” thundered the magistrate. “I think they are the best company for such as you!”
“Beggin’ your pardon, sor,” answered the prisoner, “ye’re wrong, for I had a bottle of whisky and I had to drink it all mesel’.”
HIS SKIRTS CLEAR
A sturdy little Lancashire lad went to a recruiting station to enlist.
He was much disappointed when the officer told him he was too small and too young.