A WOMAN’S WORRY
Mrs. Barron was paying a visit to Mrs. Atkins, whose husband was away fighting at the front. The visitor found the soldier’s wife in a paroxysm of grief.
“Whatever is the matter?” exclaimed Mrs. Barron.
“Aint yer heard?” was the sobbing reply. “Bill’s in ’orspital with both ’is arms off.”
Mrs. Barron was obviously shocked. With a view to easing the grief, however, she said:
“But the Government will be sure to provide for you.”
“That ain’t it,” was the tearful response. “Who’s a-goin’ to turn the mangle for me on washin’ days now, I’d like ter know?”
NOT SUPPLIES ENOUGH FOR TWO
When a talk about the German invasion of England was going on, an Irish militiaman, stationed in Carrickfergus, was heard to remark that immediately the enemy landed in England he would certainly bolt, taking a good stock of provisions, and hide in a convenient cave he knew of.
The colonel, hearing of his unpatriotic resolve, called him out next day on parade, and lectured him severely on his cowardice.