Boarding House Mistress—“O, yes. You see, our biggest eater gets so interested that he forgets to eat and our next biggest eater gets so mad that he leaves before the meal is half over.”
FEROCITY EXPLAINED
Bill—“I read as ’ow that ’ere ’Indenburg ’as got an English wife.”
Alf—“Ah, that accounts for ’is fightin’ like ’e does.”
COULDN’T BE SCOTCH
Barman—“Strikes me, there’s one o’ these blooming German spies in the smoke-room, sir. ’E’s bragging about bein’ a Scotsman, and the whisky I took ’im a quarter of an hour ago ’e ain’t even touched yet.”
HARDLY HIS FAULT
Officer (severely)—“Is this rifle supposed to have been cleaned?”
Recent Recruit—“Well, sir—yes. But you know what these servant gals are!”