A man and a woman entered a café.
"Do you want oysters, Louise?" asked the man, as he glanced over the bill of fare.
"Yes, George," answered the woman, "and I want a hassock, too."
George nodded, and as he handed the waiter his written order, he said:
"Bring a hassock for the lady."
"Yes, sir," answered the waiter, "one hassock."
A moment later the waiter, apparently puzzled, approached the man, and leaning over him, said:
"Excuse me, sir, but I have only been here two days and do not want to make any mistakes. Will the lady have the hassock broiled or fried?"
A LITERAL CENSOR
Joe T. Marshall, formerly of Kansas, recently became the father of an eight-pound boy, and wished to cable the news to his family in America.