"Glory!" exclaimed the cook, "he suttenly am holdin' out well."
MISSING IT
The folks in the southern part of Arkansas are not noted for their speed.
A man and his wife were sitting on their porch when a funeral procession passed the house. The man was comfortably seated in a chair that was tilted back against the house, and was whittling a piece of wood. As the procession passed, he said:
"I reckon ol' man Williams has got about the biggest funeral that's ever been held around hyer, Caroline."
"A purty good-sized one, is it, Bud?" queried the wife, making no effort to move.
"Certainly is!" Bud answered.
"I surely would like to see it," said the woman. "What a pity I ain't facin' that way!"
THE OBVIOUS PLACE
What is known in a certain town as "A Shop Carnival" was being held, and little girls represented the various shops. One, dressed in a white muslin frock gaily strung with garlands of bonbons, advertised the local sweet shop.