ROBBING HIMSELF
"Germany's claim that she imports nothing, buys only of herself, and so is growing rich from the war, is a dreadful fallacy."
The speaker was Herbert C. Hoover, chairman of the American Food Board.
"Germany," he went on, "is like the young man who wisely thought he'd grow his own garden stuff. This young man had been digging for about an hour when his spade turned up a quarter. Ten minutes later he found another quarter. Then he found a dime. Then he found a quarter again.
"'By gosh!' he said, 'I've struck a silver mine,' and, straightening up, he felt something cold slide down his leg. Another quarter lay at his feet. He grasped the truth: There was a hole in his pocket."
PESSIMISTS
Out at the front two regiments, returning to the trenches, chanced to meet. There was the usual exchange of wit.
"When's the bloomin' war goin' to end?" asked one north-country lad.
"Dunno," replied one of the south-shires. "We've planted some daffydils in front of our trench."
"Bloomin' optimists!" snorted the man from the north. "We've planted acorns."