"But, Mary," the judge continued, "you have many privileges in this country which you'd not have in Ireland. Now at home you would never be in a room with a justice of the Supreme Court, and chatting familiarly with him."
"But, sure, sir," said Mary, quite in earnest, "you'd never be a judge at home."
A LITTLE TOO THRIFTY
Secretary of War Baker tells a story of a country youth who was driving to the county fair with his sweetheart when they passed a booth where fresh popcorn was for sale.
"My! Abner, ain't that nice?" said the girl.
"Ain't what nice?" asked Abner.
"Why, the popcorn, it smells so awfully good," replied the girl.
"It does smell kind o' fine," drawled the youth. "I'll jest drive a little closer so you can get a better smell."
BEYOND HIM
A young couple, speeding along the country highway, were stopped by the justice of the peace.