An elderly woman who was extremely stout was endeavoring to enter a street car when the conductor, noticing her difficulty, said to her:
"Try sideways, madam; try sideways."
The woman looked up breathlessly and said: "Why, bless ye, I ain't got no sideways!"
BEYOND THE SENSE OF HUMOR
A Scottish soldier, badly wounded, requested an army chaplain to write a letter for him to his wife. The chaplain, anxious to oblige, started off with "My dear Wife—"
"Na, na," said the Scotsman, "dinna pit that doon. Ma wife canna see a joke."
A NEW COMPLAINT
A German, whose wife was ill at the Seney Hospital, Brooklyn, called the first evening she was there and inquired how she was getting along. He was told that she was improving.
Next day he called again, and was told she was still improving. This went on for some time, each day the report being that his wife was improving.
Finally, one day he called and said: