This is the literal translation:
This road is far from Ti-po-lieh-li,
We must walk for many days,
This road is far from Ti-po-lieh-li,
I want to see my lovely girl,
To meet again Pi-ko-ti-li,
To see again Lei-ssu Kwei-rh,
This road is far from Ti-po-lieh-li,
But my heart is already in that place.
NON FIT
She was a very stout, jolly-looking woman, and she was standing at the corset counter, holding in her hand an article she was returning. Evidently her attention had been suddenly drawn to the legend printed on the label, for she was overheard to murmur, "'Made expressly for John Wanamaker.' Well, there! No wonder they didn't fit me!"
HIS BY RIGHT
An Irish chauffeur in San Francisco, who had been having trouble with numerous small boys in the neighborhood of his stand, discovered one day on examining his car that there was a dead cat on one of the seats. In his anger he was about to throw the carcass into the street, when he espied a policeman.
Holding up the carcass, he exclaimed: "This is how I am insulted. What am I to do with it?"
"Well, don't you know? Take it straight to headquarters, and if it is not claimed within a month it becomes your property."
BEST OF REASONS
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said: "Now, boys, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face."