Whereupon the ranking sergeant drew up the following order of the day:
"To-morrow morning, by order of the colonel, there will be an eclipse of the sun. The regiment will assemble on the parade ground, where the colonel will come and superintend the eclipse in person. If the sky is cloudy the eclipse will take place in the drill shed."
A CONNOISSEUR
Two brothers were being entertained by a rich friend. As ill luck would have it, the talk drifted away from ordinary topics.
"Do you like Omar Khayyam?" thoughtlessly asked the host, trying to make conversation. The elder brother plunged heroically into the breach.
"Pretty well," he said, "but I prefer Chianti."
Nothing more was said on this subject until the brothers were on their way home.
"Bill," said the younger brother, breaking a painful silence, "why can't you leave things that you don't understand to me? Omar Khayyam ain't a wine, you chump; it's a cheese."
NOURISHMENT
An old South Carolina darky was sent to the hospital of St. Xavier in Charleston. One of the gentle, black-robed sisters put a thermometer in his mouth to take his temperature. Presently, when the doctor made his rounds, he said: