UNRETURNED FAVORS
A Connecticut farmer was asked to assist at the funeral of his neighbor's third wife and, as he had attended the funerals of the two others, his wife was surprised when he declined the invitation. On being pressed to give his reason he said, with some hesitation:
"You see, Mary, it makes a chap feel a bit awkward to be always accepting other folks's civilities when he never has anything of the same sort of his own to ask them back to."
THE PROPER SPIRIT
Here is a story our wounded boys have brought back from the front about
Sir Douglas Haig.
Sir Douglas was, some few weeks ago, in a great hurry to get to a certain place. He found his car, but the chauffeur was missing. So Sir Douglas got in the car and drove off by himself. Then the driver appeared and saw the car disappearing in the distance.
"Great Scot!" cried the driver, "there's 'Aig a-driving my car!"
"Well, get even with him," said a Tommy, standing by, "and go and fight one of 'is battles for him."
EXPERIENCED
A judge presiding over a court in Washington, D.C., was administering the oath to a boy of tender years, and to him put the following question: