Charles Grey, Earl Grey.
James Maitland, Lord Lauderdale
(Earl of Lauderdale).
WALCHEREN EXPEDITION (1810).
A.—A Squib on the Expedition.
Source.—Diary of Lord Colchester, 1861. Vol. ii., p. 232.
The following squib was published in the papers at this time on the Walcheren Expedition:
Extract from the Grand Romantic Drama lately performed for the Amusement of the Emperor of France.
Act I., Scene 1.—Cabinet Council discovered; Naval and Military Officers attending.
First Cabinet Minister. We now are met in grave deliberation
Upon the plan for Antwerp’s subjugation,
That we may not despatch this expedition
Without due caution, knowledge and precision.
Ye officers of military fame,
We wish for your opinion of the same.
1st Mil. Officer. I wrote before my reasons in detail,
Why I esteem your plan quite sure to fail.
Lord C—gh. You think ’twill fail?
2nd Mil. Officer. And so do I.
3rd Mil. Officer. And I.
Lord C—gh. All of you think so: better go and try.
But, ere our army sails, ’tis fit we know
Something about the place to which they’ll go.
Pray, sirs, is Antwerp fortified or no?
1st Mil. Officer. Rumour reports it fortified full well,
But I, not having been there, cannot tell.
2nd Mil. Officer. I know no more.
3rd Mil. Officer. Nor I, I do declare.
Lord C—gh. Well, well—they’ll see directly they get there.
Lord M—ve. But as the chief design of this great feat,
Captain, will be to take the Antwerp fleet;
Say, can the frigates, or can any ship,
Sail up above, and so give us the slip?
Naval Officer. Had I been there, I could have told you what
The water’s depth; but having ne’er, cannot.
Lord M—ve. This is no cause our plan should be forsaken,
It will be known as soon as Antwerp’s taken.
Lord E—n. But shan’t we lose the fleet? Then there’ll be laughter.
Lord M—ve. Lose it? If they go up, mayn’t we go after?
Lord E—n. Our friend the smuggler says the troops are few;
And then the garrison—Pray what think you?
1st Mil. Officer. Few on the coast may be, and in the town;
But from the country they can soon bring down
A force too large for us to hope to lick;
And all that’s done must be done very quick.
Lord Ch—m. Fear not: delay was ne’er a fault of mine;
And every morning I’ll get up at nine—
Dressed, breakfast done by twelve—no speed I’ll lack,
And do it all completely in a crack.
1st Cab. Min. Brave warriors, your advice and information
Has now received our full consideration.
[Exeunt Mil. and Naval Officers.
Lord C—gh. As secrecy’s the soul of expeditions,
I see no use in telling the physicians
Whither it’s going; but desire they would
Send plenty of what physic they think good.
Enter Sir Lucas Pepys.
(To Sir L. P.) Prepare (I can’t tell rightly against when)
Physic enough for forty thousand men,
But do it quick; what’s proper you can tell.
[Exit Sir L. P.
Mr. P—l. Now there’s no fear but all will answer well;
So excellent we’ve made each preparation,
And all so accurate our information.
When Parliament meets next how fine a story
Shall we not have to tell of wars and glory.
[Exeunt.
Manet, Mr. C—g, Solus.
Mr. C—g. Most of this plan is gibberish to me,
But I shall quietly lie by and see
How it goes on; and then, if all succeeds,
I share the praise; but if it ill proceeds
I’ll try what, leaving this ungoverned crew,
Setting up statesmen for myself will do.
[END OF ACT FIRST.]
The rest of the play is of so very tragic and horrible a cast, that we think the author will not be justified in bringing it forward, and we decline publishing any further extracts at present.