1077. A young man having asked an Hibernian who was looked up to as a scholar, what was meant by the posthumous works of such a writer? Why, said the other, posthumous works are those books which a man writes after he is dead.
1078. As you do not belong to my parish, said a clergyman to a begging sailor, with a wooden leg, you cannot expect that I should relieve you. Sir, said the sailor, with a noble air, I lost my leg fighting for all parishes.
1079. Henry IV. of France, passing through a small town, perceived the inhabitants assembled to congratulate him on his arrival. Just as the principal magistrate had commenced a tedious oration, an ass began to bray; on which the king, turning towards the place where the noisy animal was, said gravely, Gentlemen, one at a time, if you please.
1080. Henry IV. to an excellent wit, added most amiable manners, and a most captivating address. On General Armand de Biron coming into his presence, when he was surrounded by some foreign ambassadors, the king immediately took Biron by the hand, and said, Gentlemen, this is Marshal Biron, whom I present with equal pleasure and confidence to my friends as well as my enemies.
1081. The benevolent Dr. Wilson once discovered a clergyman at Bath, who he was informed was sick, poor, and had a numerous family. In the evening, he gave a friend fifty pounds, requesting he would deliver it in the most delicate manner, and as from an unknown person. The friend replied, I will wait upon him early in the morning. You will oblige me by calling directly. Think, sir, of what importance a good night’s rest may be to that poor man.
1082. In a lawsuit respecting boundaries, the counsel on both sides explained their claims on a plan—My lord, said one, we lie on this side: and the other said, My lord, we lie on this side. Nay, said the judge, if you lie on both sides, I can believe neither of you.
1083. The celebrated Henry, Earl of Worcester, once observing the enemy leaving the field, turned round and said, I love to see my own danger, especially when it is marching off.
1084. The earl once calling for a glass of claret, was told by his physician, that claret was bad for the gout. What, my old friend claret! nay, give it me in spite of all physicians and their advice; it shall never be said that I forsook my friend for my enemy.
1085. One was telling the earl, how strangely he had escaped a shot, by the bar of a window. A musket bullet had hit full against the edge of an iron bar of a chamber-window, so that the bullet was split in two, one half flying by on one side and the other on the other. The earl hearing this, asked in what room it was, and was answered, in the cross-barred room; upon which he answered, You will now believe me, how safe it is to stand before the cross, when you face your enemy.
1086. Charles II. hearing a high character of a preacher in the country, attended one of his sermons. Expressing his dissatisfaction, one of the courtiers replied, that the preacher was applauded to the skies by the congregation. Ay! observed the king, I suppose his nonsense suits their nonsense.