Garlic-Eaters
Laughing at the imbecilities of a common friend one day, somebody observed, "It was very surprising; and Tom D —— knew him very well, and thought him far from being a fool."
"Ah, poor Tom!" said Foote, "he is like one of those people who eat garlic themselves, and therefore can't smell it in a companion."
Mode of Burying Attorneys in London
A gentleman in the country, who had just buried a rich relation who was an attorney, was complaining to Foote, who happened to be on a visit with him, of the very great expense of a country funeral in respect to carriages, hat-bands, scarves, etc.
"Why, do you bury your attorneys here?" asked Foote gravely.
"Yes, to be sure we do; how else?"
"Oh, we never do that in London."
"No?" said the other much surprised, "how do you manage?"