Judge—I thought so!
Curator—If there's not trouble, then I'm mistaken!
Superintendent—Heavens! And with secret orders, too!
Chief—I foresaw it: all last night I was dreaming of two huge rats; I never saw such rats: they were black, and of supernatural size! They came, and smelled, and went away. I will read you the letter I have received from Andrei Ivan'itch Tchorikoff,—whom you know, Artemiy Philip'itch. This is what he writes:—"Dear friend, gossip and benefactor!" [Mutters in an undertone, as he runs his eye quickly over it.] "I hasten to inform you, among other things, that an official has arrived with orders to inspect the entire government, and our district in particular." [Raises his finger significantly.] "I have heard this from trustworthy people, although he represents himself as a private individual. As I know that you are not quite free from faults, since you are a sensible man, and do not like to let slip what runs into your hands—" [Pauses.] Well, here are some remarks about his own affairs—"so I advise you to be on your guard: for he may arrive at any moment, if he is not already arrived and living somewhere incognito. Yesterday—" Well, what follows is about family matters—"My sister Anna Kirilovna has come with her husband; Ivan Kirilitch has grown very fat, and still plays the violin—" and so forth, and so forth. So there you have the whole matter.
Judge—Yes, the matter is so unusual, so remarkable; something unexpected.
Superintendent—And why? Anton Anton'itch, why is this? Why is the Inspector coming hither?
Chief [sighs]—Why? Evidently, it is fate. [Sighs.] Up to this time, God be praised, they have attended to other towns; now our turn has come.
Judge—I think, Anton Anton'itch, that there is some fine political cause at the bottom of this. This means something: Russia—yes—Russia wants to go to war, and the minister, you see, has sent an official to find out whether there is any treason.
Chief—What's got hold of him? A sensible man, truly! Treason in a provincial town! Is it a border town—is it, now? Why, you could ride away from here for three years and not reach any other kingdom.
Judge—No, I tell you. You don't—you don't—The government has subtle reasons; no matter if it is out of the way, they don't care for that.