"'Oh, no,' said the commuter, 'I'll stop buying tickets and pay my fare to you.'"
ROADS
"How are the roads in this section?" "Fine," replied Farmer Corntossel. "We've abolished bad roads." "Big job, wasn't it?" "Not at all. Wherever the going is 'specially hard we don't call it a 'road.' We call it a 'detour.'"
ROOSEVELT, THEODORE
"One beautiful autumn day," said the teacher, telling a story, "Little Red Riding Hood was walking along a path in the woods when she came to a sharp turn; and whom do you think she saw standing there, with a row of shining white teeth gleaming at her?"
Up went a little hand.
"Who was it, Willie?"
"Mister Roosevelt."