"I am on me own account, mum. I only tells lies to the callers for the family."
"A great many of the neighbors have called to see us since we moved out here," said Mr. Crosslots.
"They didn't call to see us," replied his wife. "The report has gone out that we have a good cook and they are trying to get acquainted with her."
Mrs. Smith hired a Chinese servant, and tried to teach him how to receive calling-cards. She let herself out the front door, and when the new servant answered her ring she gave him her card.
The next day two ladies came to visit Mrs. Smith. When they presented their cards, the alert Chinaman hastily compared them with Mrs. Smith's card, and remarked as he closed the door:
"Tickets no good; you can't come in."
MISTRESS—"I shall be very lonely, Bridget, if you leave me."