| Increase | Decrease |
| Your appetite. | Your surplus fat. |
| Your respect for the flag. | Your self-conceit. |
| Your love for your mother. | Your fastidiousness. |
| Your promptness. | Your selfishness. |
| Your democracy. | Your carelessness. |
| Your feet. | Your finances. |
A few soldiers belonging to part of a Swiss regiment in garrison at Basel went to a certain cafe for refreshments. One of them sat down alone at a table. Later a civilian, a German, joined him and the two began to talk war politics. "Would you shoot on the Germans if they invaded Switzerland?" asked the German.
"Oh, no, never!" exclaimed the soldier.
"Waiter, a pint of beer and a beefsteak with potatoes for this brave man," ordered the civilian.
"And your pals sitting at the next table—would they also not shoot the Germans if they tried to invade this country?"
"Oh, no, never," retorted the Swiss.
"Waiter, a glass of beer for each of the soldiers at the next table!" ordered the civilian.
And addressing again the soldier, he asked: "Is this generally the view held in the Swiss Army in regard to a possible German invasion? Are all the Swiss soldiers so Germanophil?"
"I don't know," replied the soldier.