"Sworn off?"
"Nope; stopped entirely."
"Your wife doesn't kick about your smoking up the curtains."
"Nope, she can't have both curtains and coupons."
It was on a passenger train. The conductor in passing through observed a man with a cigar in his mouth. "Hey, you can't smoke in here," he bawled out.
"I'm not smoking," quietly replied the passenger.
"Well, you've got a cigar in your face," shot back the conductor.
"Suppose I have," continued the other good naturedly. "I've got feet in my shoes and I'm not walking."