GILLIS—"No. I haven't any lady."
WILLIS—"Come with me. I've got two extras."
GILLIS—"Who are they?"
WILLIS—"Miss Oldbud and Miss Passé."
GILLIS—"They're not extras. They're early editions."
"I'm glad Billy had the sense to marry an old maid," said grandma at the wedding.
"Why, grandma?" asked the son.
"Well, gals is highty-tighty, and widders is kinder overrulin' and upsettin'. But old maids is thankful and willin' to please."