"She was my typewriter last year."
"She's charming! Why did she leave you?"
"She was too conscientious for me. One day I proposed marriage to her, and what do you think she did? She took all that I said down in shorthand and brought it, nicely type-written, for me to sign!"
STOCK EXCHANGE
AUNT JANE (at the Stock Exchange)—"With seats selling at $60,000, no wonder they are all standing up."
FOOTLIGHT—"I see another seat at the Stock Exchange has been sold for $55,000."
Miss SUE BEETTE—"Wouldn't it be awful if the man who paid for it found it was right behind a post!"