SURPRISE
"Do you think Gladys was surprised when I proposed to her?" inquired the happy youth.
"About as surprised," answered Miss Cayenne, "as a candidate who has received formal notification that he has been nominated."
Boss entering his factory caught two of his employees shooting craps during working hours. "Oh! what is the matter with you?"
"Well boss, I can't help it, you see you got rubber heels."
SYMPATHY
BEGGAR—"I haven't tasted food for a month."