An old lady who had been introduced to a doctor who was also a professor in a university, felt somewhat puzzled as to how she would address the great man.
"Shall I call you 'doctor' or 'professor'?" she asked.
"Oh! just as you wish," was the reply; "as a matter of fact, some people call me an old idiot."
"Indeed," she said, sweetly, "but then, they are people that know you."
The hostess had trouble in getting Mr. Harper to sing. After the song had been given, she came up with a smiling face to her guest, and made the ambiguous remark:
"Now, Mr. Harper, you must never tell me again that you can not sing—I know now!"
THE HOST—"It's beginning to rain; you'd better stay to dinner."
THE GUEST—"Oh, thanks very much; but it's not bad enough for that."