MR. PECK—"Would you mind compelling me to move on, officer? I've been waiting on this corner three hours for my wife!"—Puck.
"Why is it you never get to the office on time in the morning?" demanded the boss angrily.
"It's like this, boss," explained the tardy one, "you kept telling me not to watch the clock during office hours, and I got so I didn't watch it at home either."
"This is the fourth morning you've been late, Rufus," said the man to his colored chauffeur.
"Yes, sah," replied Rufus. "I did oversleep myself, sah."
"Where is that clock I gave you?"
"In my room, sah."
"Don't you wind it up?"