FATHER (meaningly)—"Who is the laziest member of your class, Tommy?"
TOMMY—"I don't know, pa."
FATHER—"I should think you should know. When all the others are industriously studying or writing their lessons, who is it sits idly in his seat and watches the rest, instead of working himself?"
TOMMY—"The teacher."
The Literary Digest offers each week a prize of fifty dollars for the best argument in compact form for better salaries for teachers. The editor of The Reporter humbly submits to the editor of The Digest this bit of pathos:
"What shape, madam, was the pocketbook you lost?"
"Flat. I'm a teacher."
The kindergarten had been studying the wind all week—its power, effects, etc.—until the subject had been pretty well exhausted. To stimulate interest, the kindergartner said, in her most enthusiastic manner: "Children, as I came to school today in the trolley-car, the door opened and something came softly in and kissed me on the cheek. What do you think it was?"