SCOTTISH GENTLEMAN—"Richt, laddie; but if I do, mind ye, I'll no pay for the bed."


SETTLEMENT WORKER (visiting tenements)—"And your father is working now and getting two pounds a week? That's splendid! And how much does he put away every Saturday night, my dear?"

LITTLE GIRL—"Never less than three quarts, ma'am!"


HE—"I am a poor man, you know."

SHE—"When we are married I can learn to cook, dear."

HE—"Hadn't you better practise while your father is supplying the raw materials?"


See also Economy; Scotch, The.