Uncle Lige bought a clock, so tall that it was almost impossible to get it into the house. The old man was extremely proud of it, and found it very good company. He would lie awake nights to hear it tick. One night the clock got out of order, and began to strike.
The old man awoke and counted one hundred and two. He promptly sat up in bed, and calling to his wife said, "Cynthy, get up, get up. It's later than I've ever knowed it to be."
PROF (in geology)—"The geologist thinks nothing of a thousand years."
SOPH—"Great guns! And I loaned a geologist ten dollars yesterday!"
"Paw, what's the longest period of time?"
"From one pay-day to the next."