AUTHOR—"But hysterically it is one of the best things I have ever done."
A man who was a great admirer of Mark Twain was visiting in Hannibal, Mo. He asked the darkey who was driving him about if he knew where Huckleberry Finn lived. "No sah, I never heard of the gemmen." Then he said "Then perhaps you knew Tom Sawyer?" "No, sah, I never met the gemmen." "But surely you have heard of Puddin'head Wilson?" "Yes, sah, I've never met him, but I've voted for him twice."
AUTHORSHIP
TED—"I was tempted to read his book by the advertisements, but I was disappointed."
NED—"That's only natural. The advertisements are better written than the book."
AUTOMOBILE TOURISTS
"Why do you turn out for every road hog that comes along?" said the missus, rather crossly. "The right of way is ours, isn't it?"