"That's my name, I suppose?"
"No; 'scliption," was the Chinaman's bland reply. "'Lil ol' man, closs-eyed, no teeth.'"—Everybody's.
BEGGING
"Some men have no hearts," said the tramp. "I've been a-tellin' that feller I am so dead broke that I have to sleep outdoors."
"Didn't that fetch him?" asked the other.
"Naw. He tol' me he was a-doin' the same thing, and had to pay the doctor for tellin' him to do it."
DEAF-AND-DUMB BEGGAR—"Do you think it looks like rain, Bill?"
BLIND BEGGAR—"I dasn't look up to see—here comes one o' my best customers!"—Puck.