TEARFUL PARISHIONER (saying farewell to departing minister)—"I don't know what we will do when you are gone, Dr. Blank."
MINISTER—"Oh, the church will soon get a better man than I am."
TEARFUL PARISHIONER—"That's what they all say, but they keep getting worse and worse."
A clergyman was accustomed to use scientific terms which the people did not understand. A deputation waited on him with the request that in the future, whenever he used such terms, he would explain them.
On the following Sunday he used the word "hyperbole," and added:
"As agreed on, I beg to explain this word. Were I to say that at this moment the whole of my congregation are sound asleep, it would be hyperbole; but if I say that one-half are asleep, that is not hyperbole, but the truth."
The next day the deputation again called to say that the minister need not explain technical terms; they'd learn their meaning from a dictionary.
A minister came to the Episcopal church, at Williamsport, Pa., to speak.