CLOTHING
"I simply can't understand the combination of my wife's clothes."
"What puzzles you?"
"Well, when she wants to hide anything, she pokes it down her neck, but when she wants to get it again it's always in her stocking."
Why They Don't Wear Old Clothes
Father—Because he never can tell when he might be detained at the office on business.
Brother Bill—Because he has got to look his best in case he meets (a) a certain young lady, (b) her father, (c) her mother, (d) any other near relative of (a).
Sister May—Because everybody would know it if she put on one of last year's dresses.