BROWN (angrily)—"Why don't you see my wife about it and not come to me?"
DRESSMAKER—"I have, several times, but every time I call she does nothing but order a new gown."
A young Swede in South Dakota, who had been sent out to collect bills for the general store, returned with this report:
"Yon Brown, he say he pay when he sell his wheat; Ole Oleson, he say he pay when he sell his oats; and Yon Yonson, he say he pay in Yanuary."
"In January?" repeated the proprietor, surprised. "Why, he never set a date before. Are you sure he said in January?"
"Veil, Ay tank it bane Yanuary. He say it bane dam cold day when you get your money."
During an epidemic in a small Southern town every infected house was put under quarantine. After the disease had been checked, an old negress protested vigorously when the health officers started to take down the sign on her house.
"Why, Auntie," exclaimed the officer, "why don't you want me to take it down?"