"What will it cost?" asked the sick man, faintly.
"Ninety-five dollars."
"You'll have to shade your price a little," replied the purchasing agent, "I have a better bid from the undertaker."
COMPLIMENTS
A rector in South London was visiting one of his poorer parishioners, an old woman, afflicted with deafness. She expressed her great regret at not being able to hear his sermons. Desiring to be sympathetic and to say something consoling, he replied, with unnecessary self-depreciation, "You don't miss much."
"So they tell me," was the disconcerting reply.
"You don't seem to enjoy being referred to as a good loser."
"No," replied Cactus Joe. "In the course of time a good loser comes to be regarded merely as a poor performer."