"No, sah. I reckon he got dat job in reco'nition o' his having lost one o' his hands."
BESS—"Somebody passed a counterfeit dime on Bob a year ago, and he hasn't been able to get rid of it since."
MAIDEN AUNT (horrified)—"What! Does that young man never go to church, then?"
A Scotch minister in need of funds thus conveyed his intentions to his congregation:
"Weel, friends, the kirk is urgently in need of siller, and as we have failed to get money honestly we will have to see what a bazaar can do for us."
It is said that the farthing was coined in response to a demand from Scotchmen for a satisfactory coin for the collection box. It's value is a fourth of a cent.