"It you want to succeed in this world you must keep straight. Now, do you understand?"
"Well, not quite," said the prisoner; "but if your lordship will tell me how a man is to keep straight when he is trying to make boths ends meet, I might."
And another trouble with the country is that too many are trying to satisfy a bricklayer's appetite on a school-teacher's salary.
SMALL BOY (much interested in shopman's reason for high price of eggs)—"But, mummy, how do the hens know we're at war with Germany?"—Punch.
"Don't you object to all this talk about the high cost of everything?"
"Not at all," replied the profiteer. "It prepares the mind of a customer for what he may expect and saves argument."