"I'd rather spend my money on a cow," said he proudly.
"But think," said the salesman, "what a fool you'd look riding about on a cow."
"Not half such a fool as I'd look trying to milk a bicycle," answered the farmer.
"Hiram," said the farmer's wife, "what makes you say 'By gosh!' so much and go round with a straw in your mouth?"
"I'm getting ready for them summer boarders that's comin' next week. If some of us don't talk an' act that way, they'll think we ain't country folks at all."
COURAGE
The swain and his swainess had just encountered a bulldog that looked as if he might shake a mean lower jaw.
"Why, Percy," she exclaimed as he started a strategic retreat. "You always swore you would face death for me."