FRIEND—"What do you learn from that?"
DOCTOR—"If he has one, I know he is wealthy—and if he hasn't, I know he is healthy."
Starting with a wonderful burst of oratory, the great evangelist had, after two hours' steady preaching, become rather hoarse.
A little boy's mother in the congregation whispered to her son, "Isn't it wonderful? What do you think of him?"
"He needs a new needle," returned the boy sleepily.
The telephone rang and the bookkeeper answered it.
"Yes, madam, this is Wilkins's market."
"This is Mrs. Blank. I want you to know that the liver you sent me is most unsatisfactory. It is not calf's liver at all; calf's liver is tender and——"