DOCTOR (to patient)—"You've had a pretty close call. It's only your strong constitution that pulled you through."

PATIENT—"Well, doctor, remember that when you make out your bill."


A quack doctor was holding forth about his "medicines" to a rural audience.

"Yes, gentlemen," he said, "I have sold these pills for over twenty-five years and never heard a word of complaint. Now, what does that prove?"

From a voice in the crowd came: "That dead men tell no tales."


See also Bills; Remedies.

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DOGS