Dangerous Advice
CURATE—"You should be careful! Don't you know that drink is mankind's worst enemy?"
JEEMS—"Yes; but don't you teach us to love our enemies?"
"Pussyfoot" Johnson, whose effort to prohibitionize Scotland failed recently, was discussing his failure with a New York editor.
"Yes, I failed," he ended, "and I'm very sorry. Conditions in Scotland are very bad."
"Did you ever hear the story of the deacon's daughter? This story illustrates Scottish conditions very well.
"The wife of a Peebles deacon took a bath one evening, and as it was rainy, chill November weather, she swallowed a teaspoonful or two of whisky after her bath to keep herself from catching cold. Then in her dressing-gown she went to bid her little daughter good night. She stooped over the child's cot and a kiss was exchanged. After the kiss the little girl drew back sharply, sniffed and said:
"'Why, mamma, you've been using father's perfume, haven't you?'"—Detroit Free Press.