COUNTRY EDITOR (to new assistant)—"I shall expect you to write all the editorials, do the religious and sporting departments and turn out a joke column."
ASSISTANT—"What are you going to do?"
"Edit your copy."
EDUCATION
Education—the sum total of all the things we haven't been taught.
WILLIE (doing his homework)—"What is the distance to the nearest star, Auntie?"
"I'm sure I don't know, Willie."
"Well, I hope, then, you'll feel sorry tomorrow when I'm getting punished for your ignorance."